Morticia Morgendorffer

Why you mustn’t miss the magic of Timothee Chalamet’s Wonka The best way to receive art is to absorb it like a sponge absorbs water. The sponge knows not the nature of the liquid - it embellishes itself to retain anything it is given with its whole soul [don’t ask me if I’m saying that inanimate objects have a soul]. A lot of times I don’t go watch a movie in the theatres if I’m not particularly excited about it, or if people everywhere are talking shit about it. Sometimes I don’t like when a classic has been remade with actors I don’t care about. What I’m trying to say is, there’s a million reasons you’d give yourself to not go watch a movie in the theatre and wait for it to be streamable from the comfort of your home. So when Wonka finally came out to theatres, I was skeptical at first. The last time I saw Timothee Chalamet in a movie, he was staring at a fire with Sufjan Stevens’ Visions of Gideon playing in the back which felt like a deliberate punch in the gut nobody asked for. ...

 P.S. This is a shitty exercise where I write shitty reviews of the shit I watch so I write more. You're welcome to fuck off. But if you're looking to pass your time reading something that doesn't weigh on your featherweight brain, please go ahead because in this blog, we count down Swisstea's best to least favourite episodes of the newest season of Black Mirror. #1 Loch Henry In many ways, Loch Henry is like watching Gordon Ramsey prepare a personal dish for you. He loves the meal he’s making and he’s going to start by demonstrating it to you like introducing a loved one. He goes, step by step, adding the flavours, asking you to take a whiff every once in a while, so much so, by the end of it, you can’t wait to dive into it. Sorry. I think I’m hungry. But that’s how this episode feels to me too. Hate to say this, but the crime fiction fanatic in me savoured the meal the screenplay of this episode was.[notice how I say ‘crime fiction’ and not ‘true crime’ because my rom...