Morticia Morgendorffer

August 07, 2019 02.42 a.m. I sit in the balcony of my seventh-floor flat, smoking a double switch Marlboro with my friend the Penguin and listening to Cigarettes After Sex's 'Crush'.  Yeah, don't get too excited. There's no sex here. I put out the cigarette after smoking half of it. Oh, but I'm not alone. There's about an entire colony of mosquitoes trying to eat me from the legs and I feel like I should probably move inside and try not to look like the picturesque writer smoking in the balcony, writing stupid rants while a stalker in the opposite building watches silently. The sound of crickets (and other gentlemen and ladies performing the concert) reminds me of a very creepy scene from American Horror Story, but at the same time makes me realize how beautiful this world is, and how every day we miss so much of it because we just can't get enough of ourselves. But something's amiss. Something I wish would go away. I can...

*Rami Malek's voice*: Hello, Friend Just like Elliot's imaginary friend on the show, this blog could be mine. I'll visit her often, take her out for coffee, tell her all my secrets and let her in on what goes on inside my mostly-dysfunctional mind. I had a similar friend, another blog I used to spill my secrets to, long ago. I don't know when, but I got pretty detached from this blogging thing. Started to write in a diary instead. But then guess what happened - my mom read it. I cannot tell you how bewildered she was to find out she was raising a people-hating religion-trashing tramp. Anyway, I'm back at it, and it feels good to be back. No, I still write the diary. I couldn't care less about who happens to read it. No, I came back here for a reason. You know how sometimes, you come across people or situations who just make you want to stop and think, who force you to reevaluate the choices you've been making, who shake you and wake you from the d...