The Human Heart is an Asshole
August 07, 2019
02.42 a.m.
I sit in the balcony of my seventh-floor flat, smoking a double switch Marlboro with my friend the Penguin and listening to Cigarettes After Sex's 'Crush'.
Yeah, don't get too excited. There's no sex here.
I put out the cigarette after smoking half of it.
Oh, but I'm not alone.
Oh, but I'm not alone.
There's about an entire colony of mosquitoes trying to eat me from the legs and I feel like I should probably move inside and try not to look like the picturesque writer smoking in the balcony, writing stupid rants while a stalker in the opposite building watches silently.
The sound of crickets (and other gentlemen and ladies performing the concert) reminds me of a very creepy scene from American Horror Story, but at the same time makes me realize how beautiful this world is, and how every day we miss so much of it because we just can't get enough of ourselves.
But something's amiss. Something I wish would go away. I can't quite explain what this something is, because I don't really know why I feel not-so-good.
But something's amiss. Something I wish would go away. I can't quite explain what this something is, because I don't really know why I feel not-so-good.
August 10, 2019
05. 45 p.m.
I sit in my room half on my bed and half hanging on the window. I put a pillow on the window sill and look outside. My window overlooks a tiny balcony and a miniature garden, and I see the entire panorama of the lush green scenery varnished with the incessant rain. I light up the half cigarette I saved from three days ago, and put on The Japanese House's 'Lilo'
The basketball court in my society looks like a swimming pool. The rain has filled tiny mud puddles all over the place, and the leaves on the plant and the trees glisten. The grey sky gives a soothing aesthetic background to my mood. I look at the mesmerizing view and sing along to the lyrics.
This is the happiest I've been in the entire week, and I feel like my soul's all rejuvenated and rested after a long sleep. The woman in the adjacent balcony has started to stare at me. Probably because of the cigarette. I don't mind her. I continue to take in the view - and smile.
Do you ever feel like that too? Sometimes like the entire weight of the world is upon your shoulders and sometimes like you could reach out and pluck the stars out of the sky only if you wanted to?
Humans are weird.
So weird.
Really weird.
But it's okay, I think. Because normal would be too boring to write about.
Even if you don't admit to it, we're all weird. We're all the same flesh and bones underneath the spectrum of skin colors on the basis of which people these days like to claim themselves superior. We're practically the same, everywhere. I mean, think about it. Does chocolate make you happy? How about the amazing warmth of snuggling with your lover? Okay, how about looking at the night sky? How about when you fly home after a long semester at college and smell homemade food for the first time in months? How about the feeling of getting your first paycheck? How did it feel slapping shut a book you always looked forward to reading?
See?
If you'd just keep your smartphones aside for a moment you'd see, the people around you are the same as you. Not all the same, but not all different either. We're all here, and we're all trapped in the same "miasmic march to death we call life"
So no matter where you go and what you do, remember to be kind. Yes, there will always be dipshits and dickwads, but you can always forgive and move forward. Like Professor Xavier told James Logan Howlett - don't be what they made you.
05. 45 p.m.
I sit in my room half on my bed and half hanging on the window. I put a pillow on the window sill and look outside. My window overlooks a tiny balcony and a miniature garden, and I see the entire panorama of the lush green scenery varnished with the incessant rain. I light up the half cigarette I saved from three days ago, and put on The Japanese House's 'Lilo'
The basketball court in my society looks like a swimming pool. The rain has filled tiny mud puddles all over the place, and the leaves on the plant and the trees glisten. The grey sky gives a soothing aesthetic background to my mood. I look at the mesmerizing view and sing along to the lyrics.
This is the happiest I've been in the entire week, and I feel like my soul's all rejuvenated and rested after a long sleep. The woman in the adjacent balcony has started to stare at me. Probably because of the cigarette. I don't mind her. I continue to take in the view - and smile.
Do you ever feel like that too? Sometimes like the entire weight of the world is upon your shoulders and sometimes like you could reach out and pluck the stars out of the sky only if you wanted to?
Humans are weird.
So weird.
Really weird.
But it's okay, I think. Because normal would be too boring to write about.
Even if you don't admit to it, we're all weird. We're all the same flesh and bones underneath the spectrum of skin colors on the basis of which people these days like to claim themselves superior. We're practically the same, everywhere. I mean, think about it. Does chocolate make you happy? How about the amazing warmth of snuggling with your lover? Okay, how about looking at the night sky? How about when you fly home after a long semester at college and smell homemade food for the first time in months? How about the feeling of getting your first paycheck? How did it feel slapping shut a book you always looked forward to reading?
See?
If you'd just keep your smartphones aside for a moment you'd see, the people around you are the same as you. Not all the same, but not all different either. We're all here, and we're all trapped in the same "miasmic march to death we call life"
So no matter where you go and what you do, remember to be kind. Yes, there will always be dipshits and dickwads, but you can always forgive and move forward. Like Professor Xavier told James Logan Howlett - don't be what they made you.
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