Morticia Morgendorffer

  March 19, 2024  It’s been over a week since my “best friend” and I had an “argument”. I air-quoted the argument bit because you argue when both sides seek to share their sides of the story. And this is a one-sided story because when confronted, the other just chose to question it, get defensive, and slap an emoji on the conversation, rendering it shut.  In the past few days, I went through our conversation multiple times. I came to terms with the fact that there was no need for me to blow up. But I hadn’t suddenly blown up either. It came after multiple tries to communicate, telling my friend of about 9 years that I’d appreciate it if she communicated better. Or did at least as much as I did [call once every 7-10 days].  When she called me on my birthday at 3 PM, I had already spent 15 hours of my annual birth anniversary, and because I happened to be around people who cared for me all that while, her not doing anything didn’t pinch as much. So when she did cal...

Every year, my allergies get worse during a certain time of the year, which is usually the time when winters start to recede. I don’t exactly know what I’m allergic to, but every time I broom my house or get stuck in a traffic signal longer than 120 seconds, the smoke and the dust start to get to me. It results in a mild-to-headache triggering sneeze-fest and makes my palms itchy and sweaty. I also react very badly to men’s strong-smelling deodorants.  But his fragrance was different. I could tell he’d taken pains to apply it because the scent filled the entire living room the moment he entered my home for the first time. I liked it - not just him in my bed beside me, but the scent that lingered in my sheets long after he left. I made no secret of how incredible the scent was, and he told me it was a Calvin Klein fragrance. I have the hots for good-smelling dudes, bite me. We snuggled in my tiny bed in the shade of my bedside lamp, and watched Disney’s ‘Soul’. Later, we did wha...

  If you follow the internet and aren’t completely living under a rock, you must’ve heard about this viral hashtag  #WestElmCaleb on Tik-Tok. Apparently, this 6 feet-something white male on an online dating site has dated half the women in New York. I wonder if Sex and the City took place now, would he find a mention in Carrie’s lame-ass blog. Don’t get me wrong - SATC was revolutionary for its time - but without the legendary Samantha Jones, it’s just a twenty-minute crib fest. Anyway, just to give you a very brief background into the fiasco, Caleb, who dated all these women, would first love-bomb them [act extremely affectionate, showering a person with gifts, compliments, the whole shebang] and then ghost them. Caleb works at West Elm, a furniture store in New York that has, ever since become a part of the trending hashtag. I cannot imagine how it must’ve become for the poor dude who, until now had a really good thing going for him. Apparently, the first woman who uploaded ...