Morticia Morgendorffer

"Have I become a fucking prude? I don't even like kissing my dates anymore."  It's alright. Nobody kisses fruits before eating them. Just chomp at them "Not the fruits, you moron, I mean the dudes I go out with. Am I losing my libido? What is wrong with me?" Maybe you're gay? "I don't like kissing my female dates either." I think you may be emotionally constipated "Elaborate, please" Sometimes after an emotionally draining event, it takes time for your emotions and feelings to catch up to you. "Is that how you operate?" Honestly, I have no idea what I'm talking about. I was just trying to make you feel better. "That's very sweet of you. But it's alright. I think I'll be fine."  I know you'll be.  "So, what's it like, up there?" You know how you look at Instagram memes all day on your explore page and you gotta pick out which one to go with? "Yeah?" It's like that....

  I fucking hate pigeons. I forgot to shut my bedroom window completely only to come back to three of these cunts hovering, panicking and flapping their wings at my sight. They could neither sit in patience nor let me help them get out.  I’ve had quite an eventful past few weeks. I’ve gone from feeling incredibly terrible in every waking moment to realise that I can’t do anything about things I have no control over - to just trying to breathe in my reality without having a breakdown every day - to feeling my breath ease with each passing night. The Sandman on Netflix is brilliant. I cannot get out of awe of Neil Gaiman. Motherfucker put the comic out in 1989 and it’s every bit relevant, 33 years later. And for those of you who’ve watched other shows based on Gaiman’s books [Nirvana, are you here?] you think you know what to expect, only you don’t.  The story depicts a wannabe, emo, [initially] weak-ass bitch with punk hair as ‘Dream’, one of the four siblings [besides...

  "Change is a curious thing. It is not an option but a constant. It takes place during conversations. In the pauses between thoughts. Like the spinning of the earth, it's happening as we speak, but it's so all-encompassing that it is largely imperceptible." I wake up everyday feeling heavier and lighter, both at the same time. Heavier because of the thoughts that flood my brain as soon as I wake up, and lighter when I think I surpassed another day of summertime sadness. More like monsoon gloom. Monsoon Melancholy? Ugh. Last month, I got a bunch of stuff for myself - including a tattoo - with a few more on my mind. I have to tell you about my friend Shels who went with me and allowed me to squeeze the life out of her hand. Pro tip: The insides of your bicep is a painful place to get inked. Looks incredibly badass though. Win some, lose some. I got all the pores of my right ear licked clean. Even the hole where the ear wax is. If the dude had put his tongue any furt...