Black Hole Sun

"Have I become a fucking prude? I don't even like kissing my dates anymore." 

It's alright. Nobody kisses fruits before eating them. Just chomp at them

"Not the fruits, you moron, I mean the dudes I go out with. Am I losing my libido? What is wrong with me?"

Maybe you're gay?

"I don't like kissing my female dates either."

I think you may be emotionally constipated

"Elaborate, please"

Sometimes after an emotionally draining event, it takes time for your emotions and feelings to catch up to you.

"Is that how you operate?"

Honestly, I have no idea what I'm talking about. I was just trying to make you feel better.

"That's very sweet of you. But it's alright. I think I'll be fine." 

I know you'll be. 

"So, what's it like, up there?"

You know how you look at Instagram memes all day on your explore page and you gotta pick out which one to go with?

"Yeah?"

It's like that. The world is full of so much stimuli that attracts you and appeals to you that sometimes it's hard to decide what to do first. But I've got a pretty good handle on things. I've been doing this for more than 2 decades, you know.

"I know what you mean about the stimuli. Sometimes I get confused whether I want to write, or want to play music, or dance, or finish the book I'm reading."

Exactly. Compartmentalise and prioritise. But most importantly, evolve.

"I see you're still using British English. Very fine adapting."

Thank you, darling. Tell me, why are we here today again?

"I don't feel like kissing my dates anymore. It feels like a precious investment that I don't want to squander anymore. I can't make casual investments anymore. I've put too much at stake and lost."

You've got to give it time. It's like your skateboard scars. When you go out looking to learn new things, find new adventures, you may not always like what you find. And sometimes, you get hurt. But you get to know more - about yourself and the world, and everything that connects you to the universe. And even though it's ugly sometimes, it's wholesome. 

"I'm scared"

Of what

"I don't know. Sometimes it's a whole bunch of things, sometimes I feel I'm worried about nothing. Sometimes I have this passing impulse of ending everything and that scares me."

Then why don't you?

"I'm overwhelmed by the things and people around me. The music, the art, the incredible people who think I don't suck."

Why do you think you suck?

"I used to be so much better at loving. I was fearless. I always saw the good in people. I always wanted to help. Now I'm a selfish prick who puts myself first."

You didn't become selfish. You evolved. Nothing wrong with that. And you still see the good in people. Give yourself some credit. 

"I guess you're right."

Tell you what. Why don't you sleep on it for a little while and see how you feel tomorrow.

"Alright."

End fidelity test.

"Well, what do you think?" Weber asks hopefully.

 "I think you capture the complexity of humanity pretty well. But we may need to work on her motor functions a bit. Her face was completely expressionless. Maybe some waterworks?" Ford suggests.

"Sure. What about the script?"

"That's fine. Although we might need something heavier and perhaps darker for one of our violent ones?"

"That's for sure."

"Alright. See you tomorrow, bud. Great work."

"Thanks."

As the two techies walk out, the android blinks, then smiles.



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